Later today, people in fabulous clothes will be accepting gold statuettes for all sorts of achievements, real and imagined. To scoop them all, here's an imaginary list of awards for storytelling achievements exhibited in a truly random sample of this year's big movies. Let's start with characters, because, why not?
Best Character in a Nifty Picture: There were a lot of unkempt, drunken men on the screen this year (Barney from Barney's Version, Rooster Cogburn in True Grit) but I really liked Johnny Depp's version of the Mad Hatter in Alice in Wonderland. Please note, all of these characters were based on literary versions of the same. As for female characters, I really liked Jennifer Lawrence's character in Winter's Bone. Vulnerable, determined, smart, and driven to carry out a chilling mission.
Best Screenplay: By a wide margin, 127 Hours. This was my favorite movie of the year. But I've said that too often. A story told using music, dreams, hallucinations, memories, journals, fake morning news -- all in a canyon crevice! Hats off.
Strangest Plot: Black Swan -- I'm still not sure what happened. I thought I went to a character drama, but it turned out to be a horror movie. Nevertheless, compelling.
Cinematography as Narrative -- I loved True Grit. As the camera followed horse and rider across the terrain, my heart overflowed. The landscape told half the story.
Costumes that Tell a Story -- The 2011 Polar Bear plunge. I liked it better than Natalie Portman's feathers. Someone even brought a portable sauna.
For a real plot twist, watch the Oscars in your bathing suit this year. You'll have way more fun.
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